


And If I Only Could

by orphan_account



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Body Worship, Charcoal, Crying, Crying During Sex, Cussing, Dacryphilia, Depression, Dirty Talk, Drug Use, Emetophobia, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Nipple Piercings, Scars, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Vanilla Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:12:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5879026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick sneaks off with Morty after his failed overdose attempt, in an attempt to comfort him and get him out of drinking charcoal. Sad, gentle touching ensues when Rick tries to make him feel understood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Make a Deal with God

**Author's Note:**

> this is weird, but ? this helps with coping and I enjoyed writing it. hope you guys like sad vanilla.\\\

The panic had set in the moment he got home. There had, of course, been instances in which Rick had come home to an empty house, but it was maybe the way things were placed that alarmed him. Kitchen utensils dropped haphazardly, the TV still on, heaters still running on high despite the lack of the presence of anyone to feel it. It seemed, in basics, that the family had left in a careless hurry.  
That was when Rick noticed the seven missed calls on his phone, all from Summer. Eyes wide and fidgety, he immediately calls back. She picks up fairly quickly. “Rick! Hey, hi, oh my god,” her voice cracks before she moves away from the phone to take a deep breath.  
“Summer, listen, calm down. Where is everybody?”  
“We’re,” she hiccups. “We’re at the hospital. Please, just, get over here, okay?” she pauses, and for a moment he thinks he can hear someone vomiting over on her end of the phone. “Ohmygod, um, see you soon grandpa Rick.” She sniffles before hanging up. The minute the call ends, Rick immediately runs back into the garage. Hopping into the ship and starting for the local hospital.  
Rick grimaces upon walking through the hospital doors. He hasn’t liked hospitals since, well, probably birth, really. He quickly moves over to the front desk. “I’m looking for a, um, Smith family.” He glares as the lady slowly shuffles through her papers.  
“Room nine, pediatric ward. Are you family?”  
“Yes, thank you.” He spits back at her, before shuffling towards the next set of double doors, setting course for the pediatric emergency ward.  
He briskly walks along the corridor, passing pregnant women and sickly toddlers until he comes to the room labelled nine. He takes a deep breath before shoving the door open, the curtain moving with it. He steps in, just in time to see Morty vomiting an obsidian liquid into a small curve of cardboard. Wiping the residue off his lips, he hazily turns his attention to him. “R-Rick . . .?”  
Rick feels small pools of tears threaten to spill over his cheeks, but he quickly wipes them away before closing the door behind him and advancing into the room. He’d seen Morty get really fucked up, but this time it was different. He knew what had happened, but still felt the need to ask.  
“What the h-hell happened here?” he asks roughly, shooting a look at Jerry as though it were his fault.  
“He just . . . took too much Prozac.” Jerry offers, shrugging.  
“Way to fucking undermine it, Jerry.” Beth glares, choking back a sob.  
“I-It’s fine, mom.” Morty mumbles. Beth only cries harder.  
“E-Everyone shut the fuck up.” Rick moves to kneel by Morty in his hospital bed. He takes a deep breath, studying Morty’s eyes as the boy stares back at him. “Morty.” He starts, tone gentle. “Do you know how many you took?”Morty hesitates.  
“T- . . . Twenty five, maybe.”  
“And your capsules are twenty mg, right?” Morty nods, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Rick sighs, glancing over at the clock, which reads three am. “Beth, sweety,” he says softly, turning to her. “You have work in the morning. Go home and get some rest, okay? He’s going to be okay, I promise. He probably needs some space anyways.” Beth hesitates, wiping the tears from her eyes before abruptly standing up to collect her things. She leans over to press a kiss to Morty’s forehead.  
“I love you, okay Morty?” she says, smiling through her tears. Hesitantly, she walks out of the room. Rick slowly turns his gaze to Jerry.  
“And you. I know, I mean, we all know you’re unemployed, b-but this is kind of a sensitive time for a young teen in his position, and it might be best if you went home.” Rick suggests, trying to keep his cool.  
“W-well . . . I disagree. I think now is the time we really need to be together, right, Morty?” he says nervously. Morty awkwardly looks off to the side, not wanting to verbally disagree with his father. Still, the lack of a proper response is enough for Jerry to take the hint. “O . . . kay. Or not.” Jerry sighs, getting up from his seat. “I’ll leave you guys some space, okay? The lady at the desk has our numbers, so just as a nurse if you need us back here, okay?” he pauses. “Love you.” His tone carries his omnipresent sense of defeat, but the intent is still kind. Within minutes, the room is left to just the three of them. 

“I’m . . . sorry to break the moment, but did you just get rid of our parents so you guys could skip out on a night in the hospital?” Summer pitches, knowing Rick all too well.  
“Gosh Summer, w-we can’t do th-“  
“That’s exactly what we’re doing.” Rick moves to stand back up, aiming his portal gun at the wall.  
“Hey, if you guys are heading off, can you at least drop me off at a friend’s place? I don’t really wanna be around mom and dad right now, a-and-“ Summer trails off when Rick throws a set of keys in her direction.  
“Be nice to my ship, but uh, take her wherever you want. Stay safe.” Rick throws a peace sign in her direction, before helping Morty out of the hospital bed. He tiredly moves a hand out to grab the cup of charcoal, but Rick quickly smacks it away. “Leave it, kiddo. You’re not keeping it down anyways, so come on.” Rick says, guiding him to the portal. Summer waves farewell as they disappear into the bright neon of the portal fluid.  
Morty tenses and shivers, clutching his stomach as he looks around at his new surroundings. Deep maroon was the colour of the streets, the buildings a contrasting cyan blue. Due to the lack of people, he guessed it was likely nighttime for this planet. He hadn’t been here before, but watching his grandfather fumble with another set of odd keys, he knew Rick had definitely been here before.  
Finally getting the front door open, Rick steps aside to allow Morty inside. The interior was a deep red, matching the colour of the streets. It smelled like old cigarettes, cold and musty. Morty could tell no one had been here in a while, though it may have been well-lived in in the past. Rick closes the door behind them before moving to the centre of the room to inspect. “So, um, you can sit on the couch, but maybe don’t choose that one.” He says, gesturing to the couch on the right side of the room. Morty shoots him an odd look before sitting on the left couch as prompted. “D-Don’t look at me like that okay, I lived here during my twenties, so yeah the place is fucking gross and weird but I didn’t really know where else to take you while you were wearing a fucking assless gown.” Rick takes a deep breath, calming himself a bit. “Right, now, um . . . Did you take them with alcohol?” Rick tries his best to keep his cool while asking the uncomfortable question. Morty meekly nods.  
“Not a lot, but I mean, my liver’s probably fucked now anyways.” Rick nods, before moving into the kitchen half of the room. Morty watches hazily as he fills a glass with pink-ish liquid, as well as throwing a rapid-dissolve tablet in with it.  
“Drink this.” He pauses, catching the hesitant look on Morty’s face. “Look, I-I know you probably don’t trust foreign liquids after chugging a cup of charcoal, but this stuff is alien tonic. Tastes like cranberries, does the same thing as charcoal. So. You’re safe.:” Rick huffs a sigh before sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

There’s silence between the two as Morty takes small sips of the liquid, glad to taste something other than the lukewarm sludge the nurse had given him.  
“Morty?” Rick prompts. Morty looks up, ready to listen.  
“I’m not mad at you or anything. I-I know a lot of ‘professionals’ try to guilt-trip you when shit like this happens, b-but I just . . . wanted to let you know that I get it, you lil shit.”  
“. . . Y’know Rick, I just . . .” his voice trembles, but Morty still does his best to push out the sentence. “This is really fucking stupid but I really need a hug right now.” Rick raises an eyebrow in surprise, looking off to the side.  
“Heh, that’s fucking g-“ Rick is about to joke, but can’t manage to finish it when he looks back to see Morty quietly sobbing. Deciding to set his rough pride aside, he nervously leans forward to wrap his arms around Morty, letting him lean in to cry on his shoulder.  
“ . . . You really know how to break me down, Morty.”


	2. And Get Him to Swap Our Places . .

“I . . . I just need to feel something, anything.” Morty hiccups against Rick’s shoulder. “I feel so broken.”  
Rick doesn’t know what to say, He runs his hands gently over Morty’s bare back, before letting them sit at his chubby hips. He whimpers through his tears, his grip on Rick tightening. Rick glances down between them to notice the boy’s hard-on through the hospital gown, before quickly turning his attention elsewhere. Morty, curious, glances down to find out what Rick had broken the embrace for. Noticing his own erection, Morty leans away from Rick and cries harder.  
“FuckfuckFUCK.” He sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking disgusting, I just-“ he trails off into another bout of rough sobbing and shaky breaths, hysteria setting in. Rick shakily places a hand on his shoulder in an attempt at comfort.  
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s-It’s a natural response in stressful situations, Morty.” Rick slowly pulls him into another embrace. “It’s okay baby.” Rick isn’t sure whether it was the reassuring fact, or the pet name that quieted Morty’s crying, but his attention is quickly turned elsewhere when he begins subtly grinding against his leg. He sniffles a bit as his movements become more prominent, until he’s rutting against Rick’s leg.  
“I’msorryI’msorryRickfuck,” Morty trails off when Rick’s grip on his hips tightens.  
“Do whatever you need to, Morty.”  
It’s with this that Morty finds the confidence to lean forward and press a soft kiss to Rick’s lips. At first Rick is still, before finding comfort in the notion and gently pressing back into the kiss. After a moment, Rick pulls back, studying the sight of Morty’s red eyes and blown pupils. Swiftly, he moves to sit on the couch beside him, using the grip on the boy’s hips to move him into his lap. After letting him get comfy, Rick moves forward to press light kisses against Morty’s sensitive neck, all while beginning to toy with the firm tie on the back of his hospital gown.  
“May I?” Rick growls into his ear. He nervously nods in response, and as soon as he does, Rick has it untied, a smirk stretched proudly across his lips. Morty shivers as the ties fall down over his back, before leaning to remove the gown itself. He bites his lip in embarrassment before tossing it off to the side. Rick’s eyes trail over the small, chubby body stretched across his lap. “So fucking pretty.” He mumbles, leaning in to press kisses to Morty’s chest. He moans, tangling his fingers into messy locks of blue hair. He gasps sharply when a cold hand wraps itself around his member, beginning to stroke from length to tip. Rick teases the head with his thumb every couple strokes, loving the tense and shaky response Morty’s body gives him each time.  
“Riiick ,, ., “  
“Yes, baby?”  
“Please, I . . I want to see you.”  
Looking up, Rick’s heart flutters at the downright precious look Morty is giving him right now. Snapping out of it, he moves Morty back a bt in order to shrug off his lab coat, followed by his long-sleeve. Finally, he tugs off his undershirt. There isn’t too much to look at, as Rick never really did have a defined body, and yet, Morty quickly finds his hands pressed against the man’s chest, eager to explore. His hands slowly and gently move down to Rick’s stomach, trailing over small scars, some old, some new. Rick glances off in another direction, clearly flustered as Morty’s hands move back up to give his pierced nipples some attention. Morty examines the metal with starry eyes, smiling when he realizes that the jewelry on both of them is shaped like angel wings.  
“Snazzy.” Morty giggles, looking back up to a blushing Rick. Smiling proudly, he runs his thumbs gently over the sensitive nubs, watching intently as they harden under his touch. Rick huffs lightly, clearly a bit sensitive.  
“Don’t tease me, you little shit.”  
Morty smiles and holds in a small giggle, moving forward to kiss at Rick’s neck. His hands trail back down to undo his belt, sliding both his pants and underwear to the knee, allowing Rick to kick them off from there.  
If Rick had thought Morty was starry-eyed at the sight of his piercings, then he supposed the only way to describe the way he was being looked at now would be as though Morty carried the galaxy in each iris. His hands reach down to toy with Rick’s bony hips, before smoothing over his thighs.  
Abruptly moving Morty back once more, Rick twists to grab a small bottle of lube from his coat pocket. “You . . . carry that around with you?” Morty asks, a raised eyebrow and curious smile adorning his expression.  
“Maybe” Rick replies nonchalantly, before pooling some of the liquid over his fingers on one hand, setting the bottle down to move Morty’s hips with the other. Keeping him positioned with one hand, the other slowly moves between them. Spreading the lube over Morty’s entrance, Rick teases, soaking up the boy’s small mewls before sliding his middle finger into him with ease. Morty grunts lewdly, squeezing his eyes shut tight. Rick slowly pumps his finger a few times to get him adjusted, before adding in a second finger. Morty bites his lip at the discomfort, moving his hand to dig his nails into Rick’s shoulder when the time comes for a third finger. Rick’s breath hitches at the dull pain.  
“Are you ready?” Rick asks, voice barely above a whisper. Morty nods, staring back with half-lidded eyes. He whimpers lowly as Rick removes his fingers, before moving closer in his lap. He positions himself, eliciting groans from the both of them when he lowers himself onto Rick’s cock. He hadn’t stopped to think about his length, but now that the man was half way inside of him, Morty might have guessed eight inches.  
Finally managing to take him the farthest he could, Morty does his best to relax, placing his hands on the couch at either side of Rick’s head. At first Rick’s attention was put all into watching Morty’s varying expressions, but his eye is caught on the blur of red etched over one of the arm’s by his head. Leaning to get a clearer view, Rick realizes that the red is of rough, fresh scars, intricately stretched across the otherwise smooth skin of Morty’s wrist. Taking a breath, Rick presses a gentle kiss amongst the many scars, causing Morty;s eyes to snap open in surprise.  
“You’re so fucking precious Morty, I wanna make you feel really good tonight, baby.”  
Expression softening to Rick’s sweet talk, Morty swiftly moves his hips up, shakily moving back down on Rick.  
“Mm, you’re doing so good for me, Morty. How are you feeling?”  
Morty responds with a moan, and the groan of three words. “I love you.”  
Rick’s lip trembles, and he can’t keep himself from thrusting up into him, earning another cute moan from the boy’s lips. He sets a slow and gentle pace to start, knowing how easily Morty could be broken.  
“Ahh, taking me so well Morty, l-like you were fucking built for me.”  
“R-Rick . . .”  
“Mhhmm?”  
“Please, fuck me faster,”  
Rick grunts, punctuating his eagerness to please by tightening his grip on Morty’s ass and giving a few rough thrusts before moving onto a smooth, fast pace. “Fuuuck, Morty . .” Rick growls, nuzzling into Morty’s shoulder. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I’m so lucky to get to have you like this.” With a rough groan, he shifts into a much faster pace, the lewd sound of skin on skin filling the room. Enjoying the change of pace, Morty can’t stop panting out Rick’s name, hands tangled through blue hair, moving every so often to roughly tug on it.  
Moving a hand between them to begin stroking Morty’s cock, Rick knows neither of them will last much longer.  
“R-Rick, I, ahhng, I can’t-“  
“Shh, shh. Y-you feel so good stretched around me, so goddamn tight, I don’t think I can take it much longer either. Do you think you can cum for me, baby?”  
With a few more moans and deep thrusts, Morty finds himself in the midst of what felt like the hardest orgasm he’s ever had, lost in a sense of ecstasy, all sense of agony long forgotten in the heat of the moment. Following suit, Rick growls sweet nothings into Morty’s ear as he cums inside of him, riding it out for a little while.  
After a few moments of slowing down and deep breathing, Morty lifts himself up off of Rick’s member with trembling limbs, before sitting back down to lay against his chest.  
“You don’t know how much you mean to me, Morty.” Rick says, arms wrapped tightly around the boy’s form. “Promise you’ll stay alive for me?”  
“Only if you stay alive for me.”

 

“. . . Deal.” Rick whispers, interlacing his hand with Morty’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, since I've now got writer's block after cranking this one out, feel free to leave prompts at my tumblr Vanillu-Script. Fluff, gen, horror, sin, and ultimate sin are all accepted. Thanks for reading!


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